Happy 4th!

First of all, Shannon is here, and she is doing pretty well. She is tired, because the plane was delayed last night. There were thunderstorms right over the Denver airport, so they weren't even allowed to leave Phoenix until about 90 minutes after they were supposed to.

Then she stayed up really late, texting with/talking to friends. And she was up at about 7:30 this morning, which really surprised me. I figured I'd have to drag her out of bed so she wouldn't miss the big 4th of July parade this morning. And when I say the big parade, I mean about 20 kids in our neighborhood, on decorated bikes and scooters.




We went and bought some streamers and a couple of small flags at Target yesterday, and we already had a red, white and blue pinwheel, so Kylie was all set.



This kind of event takes lots of planning, people. Lots of planning...and cookies.

This is Kearny. Kierney. Kierny. I have no idea how you spell it, but could she be any cuter? She and her sister Sydney (age almost 6, Kylie's new best friend) live next door to us. When I asked her how old she was, she said she was 20. I thought that was cute. Turns out she is 20 months old. That was freaky, that she knew that.

Just when I thought Kylie couldn't be any more red, white and blue, someone handed out the star-shaped sunglasses.

Getting ready to start the parade...

And there they go! They go down the street to where it crosses, up the other cul-de-sac, then turn around and come back down. It takes about 10 minutes. But what I couldn't believe is that there were people out on their porches, clapping. And you thought I was kidding when I said this was a big event.

After it was over, there were cookies and more cookies and some juice boxes. Then we all sat around on someone's lawn and chatted.

The kid that lives three doors down from us has a mother-effing SNAKE. The kid in the orange Texas shirt, it's his snake. Kylie was all, "Hey, take it over there and show my mom!"

And I screeched, "No! Keep that thing away from me!" Because I have a little sort of snake-phobia. As I write this, Kylie is playing over at the house where the snake lives. Better her than me.

When I asked Steve to get Kylie's scooter out of the street, this isn't exactly what I meant. But at least he's patriotic about it. See the red shirt?


Tonight we're going to grill some burgers, then we're going over to the neighbor's house for drinks and fireworks. You know how in AZ people go to Mexico to get fireworks that are illegal in AZ? Well, here there are a lot more fireworks that you can buy legally. So what people do here to really ramp it up, is they drive up to Wyoming and get stuff that's illegal in CO.

I was told there's going to be a pretty good show in our neighborhood tonight. Hopefully there are no arrests. I think the main show is being put on by an 18 year-old kid that just graduated from the high school that Shannon will be attending. He seems pretty cool. So does everyone else around here. I'm sure it will be fun, but I miss my friends. Jen, who reads my blog, and Kati, who says she does, but she totally doesn't. I wish you guys were here.

Oh, remember when I was talking about the sweet (FREE) deal we got on the cage for Shannon's future guinea pig that I said she could have? Well, this is the cage. But that's not a guinea pig.

We went to the pet store today, and she fell in love with a 12 week-old Holland lop bunny.

She doesn't have a name yet, but Shannon's thinking of calling her Beast. Perfect, no?

Broken Hearts

I think I just got some idea of how Shannon is going to feel when she gets here. She just called me, and she was sobbing her heart out. She said goodbye to the friend she was staying with today, and now she has just said goodbye to Michael, her boyfriend. She was crying so hard she could barely breathe. And she was at my parents' house, alone. They are in North Carolina, and Danni won't be home from work for another 40 minutes or so.

It's times like these that every snotty remark, every eyeroll, and everything they have put you through goes right out the window. I just want to make this better for her. I want to make this not hurt. I want to give her the gift of hindsight, so she can understand that this will pass, she will feel better, and life will go on. And I can't. There's nothing I can do to make her feel better right now.

And my heart is breaking.

The Countdown Is On

So Jenn from Juggling Lifeand Fannie from This Isn't What I Ordered have both tagged me for a Mom Meme. And I'm going to do it, I swear. Just as soon as I can narrow down my bad parenting moments to just ONE, and come up with seven good things about my kids. The latter should be easier than the former.


In the meantime, let's talk about the fact that it's about T minus 48 hours until Shannon gets here. Shannon is a very complicated subject right now. First of all, I'd like you to go and read this post about adolescent angst by Suburban Correspondent at The Womens Colony. Wow, I'm full of links today, right? Seriously, go read it...I'll wait.


Did you read it? I hope so, because this pretty accurately describes my feelings about Shannon right now. Mourning the loss of my sweet little girl, and hoping she turns back into a human one day. I was discussing this with my oldest daughter the other day, that every time I think I've turned a corner with Shannon, and she seems to be being nice and cooperative, it turns out it's only because she was after something. It's a little disheartening, actually.


Like S.C. and her daughter, Shannon and I were close when she was younger. She was my little mini-me, my snuggle bug, the kid who still loved me while my oldest was going through the adolescent thing. I loved that sweet little girl so much. I still love her, but there are times, a lot of times, when I really don't like her very much.


I don't know what's going to happen when she gets here. Is she going to be happy to see us? She mentioned on the phone once that she wanted us to change her plane ticket, so she could come earlier. She was "homesick", she said...even though she hasn't left home yet. She said she feels like Arizona isn't really her home anymore, and she wanted to come to Colorado.


She changed her mind though, deciding that she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her "boyfriend." I put boyfriend in quotes because...ok, she's 14. His name is Michael. She really likes him. Hell, I really liked him. He is a really, really sweet kid. Which made me wonder what he is doing hanging out with Shannon, but I digress. In fact, I talked to the mother of the girl that Shannon is staying with a couple of days ago, who assured me that not only was my daughter not giving her any trouble, but she's pleasant to have around and very polite. Say what? Don't you wish they could save some of that for you sometimes?


So, she will get here Friday night. Will she be glad to see us? Brokenhearted from leaving Michael? Sullen? Excited? Morose? Depressed? I have no idea. She's not going to have her friends to fall back on when she does arrive. After the holiday weekend, when her dad goes back to work, she's really going to have no choice but to spend time with Kylie and me. I promised her new bedding for her room, and a guinea pig. The guinea pig was a deal I made with her when I first told her we were moving, way back in December. We just got a really sweet deal on a huge wooden cage for the future guinea pig too. And when I say sweet deal, I mean it was sitting out in front of our neighbor's house last Saturday, and I rang her bell and asked her if she was selling it, and she said, "Oh lordy, I'm moving and I just can't deal with that thing. Just take it, PLEASE!"


I have to admit, not having her around has been...peaceful. No arguing, no snottiness, no attitude. Well, unless you count the six year-old. Having one child with you, all the time, from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep is...exhausting. I'm not even sure exhausting is the word. Let's just say that I felt the urge to visit Tipsy's today. I came away with a large bottle of Barefoot Zin, red, that I may crack open here very soon.


See, I'm having very mixed feelings about this. I want her here, but I want her here and NICE. I know, I'm asking too much. I want her here, nice and appreciative of all the things I've done to try and make this easier on her. Which will happen when it snows in Phoenix, in July.


I have to admit, I'm nervous. She, on the other hand, has been having a grand time in Arizona, staying with a friend. They went to a concert last night by a guy who calls himself NeverShoutNever!. I'm confused by that...it sounds like the name of a group, but it's just him. Unless he's performing, then he has a backup band. But the NeverShoutNever! name is just him. His name is Christofer Drew, I think.


So Shannon got a picture with this guy, and I love the way she looks. I swiped the picture off her MySpace page, by the way, so shhhhh. I think she'd not be happy if she knew. But I just love the expression on her face. She looks so cute, and her face, to me, says, "Holy crap, I can't believe I'm standing here with this guy!"

She's going to have the opportunity to make some friends before school starts. In Colorado, the high schools play softball in the fall. Her high school is having position and conditioning clincs during the summer. The first two are next week, after she gets here. I hope she realizes that this is really a good opportunity for her to meet some kids, and not moan about it like she first did when I told her about it. It's like...I'm trying to help you here kid. I wish you could help me a little.

47 hours, 30 minutes, and counting.

Houston, We Have a Problem

You all know this book, right? If you have kids, you must have heard of it. I remember when it first came out, there was this big uproar over the word "fart." Like we all don't do it. Well, except me.



We have a new problem in the house, and let's just say I've thought of an alternate title to the above book.

For the past few nights, a dog has been...passing gas in our house. And this is not just any gas, but cringe-inducing, room-clearing, nauseating gas.

At first, I blamed Luke. Surely it must be the new dog, because Bo has never had this problem in the past. I've lived with this dog for the past nine years, and as God is my witness, I have never smelled this smell before.

However, last night, it became clear which dog was the culprit. Mainly because I nearly passed out from the smell, when Bo was right under the table, and Luke was outside. Obviously, I wasn't going to be able to blame this one on the puppy.

So, help me out here. He is eating the exact same food he has always eaten, so I know it's not the food. Steve says maybe it's all the exercise he's getting now, what with all the running around and playing with his new brother. Ok, exercise makes you fart? I wasn't aware of this. Which shows you how much exercise I get. Any of you exercisers out there, is this true?

Is it the altitude, the water, age, something new in the yard, stinkweed, or perhaps the little-known fartweed? Whatever it is, it needs to stop. Change. Something. Or I'm going to lose my dinner.

Does anyone else have a dog with this problem? Is there anything you can do about it? Like a natural remedy, like you put oil in their food for a shiny coat? What do you do about rancid-smelling SBDs from your dog? And please don't say you just live with it. I don't think I can.

My Two Boys

I have two boys in this house.

This is Bo. He's about 10 years old, so a senior citizen, as far as dogs go. He's a Chug (Chihuahua/Pug mix). Way back when I got him from the shelter, he was just a "mutt." Now he has a fancy name.

This is Luke. He's a beagle, about 8 months old. Did you know that beagles don't so much bark, as they do howl? I didn't. I do now.

We've had Bo for about 9 years. We rescued him from a shelter when he was about a year old.

Steve got Luke from a shelter when he moved to Denver six months ago. Luke kept him company when he was living in an apartment by himself.

The two of them met each other nine days ago. Since Bo is like an old man, and Luke is more like a toddler, you'd think they wouldn't be much interested in each other.

And this is what they do. All. Day. Long.

Life Without Teenagers

On Father's Day, Kylie wanted to take her dad fishing. Of course, this actually amounts to him taking her fishing, since she's never fished before, and it's one of his favorite things.




Since I imagine this is not the last time she will go fishing, we went and bought her her very own fishing pole. Clement Park is about five minutes from our house, and there is a lake.



Since I do not like fishing, or anything about fishing (boring, smelly, worms, flopping fish, ewww. I'm sorry, Justin...I really am), I set up camp under a tree, with a cooler of Diet Coke and the last Harry Potter book, which I am trying very hard to finish.

This is the view from my chair. It was about 77 degrees, and breezy. I could've sat there all day, and taken in the scenery.

Daddy baits the hook, because that's Daddy's job. Have I mentioned that worms, ewww?

They never did catch a fish on this particular day, but Kylie learned how to cast.

And she and her dad got to spend some quality time together.

Sitting on the pier, watching a bobber.

The End.

Except...there were two people noticably missing from our Father's Day. One of them will be arriving on July 3rd, and one of them...no longer lives with us.

Danni and my parents are going through an adjustment period, getting to know each other's schedules, my parents learning to live with a teenager again after 22 years of an empty nest. I think it's going ok. It will be better once school starts and they settle into a routine.

Have I mentioned that Danni has a job at Schmollister? (Mary, she really does!)

Here are some things I have noticed that have changed without them here:

We go through a lot less food.

And toilet paper.

I do a lot less laundry.

When I get ready in the morning, my brush is right where I left it.

So is my makeup.

I never have to go hunting for my lotion.

Kylie and I are together from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to sleep. This is not really as much fun as it sounds. Call me a bad mother, but by 4pm each day, I'm ready to lose my mind. She has no sisters to annoy at the moment, so guess who gets it? This is why I could never homeschool. Someone would surely die. Probably me.

I have no bathroom with makeup, towels and clothes spread from one end to the other.

I'm only nagging one person to clean up after herself, instead of three.

And I miss them like crazy.

Tipsy's Liquor World

I live exactly four miles from a store that purports to be the largest liquor store in the country.





I think I may need to go on a field trip.

I'm just sayin'.

P.S. - Danni, if you're reading this, I'm totally kidding.